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Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
7:23 am
Masturbation at Work.

I just read someone's LJ description about masturbating at work. And it inspired me to recount some of my own experiences.

At the present time, the nature of my job is not one that either allows or inspires me to masturbate at work. I'm on the floor 10 hours a day with small children. So needless to say I'm not in any position to cut out and pull one off in the bathroom with the diapers and changing table.

But I did not always work with small people so for a while I had a few good experiences. I'll start with my first one.

When I was 17 I did "Co-Op", one of those things that the Board of Education thinks sounds good on paper, but in reality is a pointless activity, a sobering experience that destroy's our dream that our lives will amount to something more than modular furniture and passive agressive office talk. I was put into the massive four floor offices of a law firm in a 60 story building in downtown toronto. My "co-ordinator" was a kind if clueless Real Estate lawyer who gave me long tender speeches on the difficulties of being raised in a broken home and then contrasting them by revelling in descriptions of his new Porsche and 2 kids who attend private schools. After a few days of LETTING me shadow him he decided he had had enough and found a stockroom to store me in. He set me up with a desk, a computer and a swivel chair and closed the door for the next 8 months.

Maybe there is something about futile corporate office jobs that inspires us to rail against the sexless decor and ruthless division of labor by taking our cocks and pussies into our own hands and protest by spreading our bodily fluids on the glass and marble bathroom stalls. I know that while I'm miserable at my current job, I can guarantee that it is anything but futile and so this may be one of the reasons I don't get horny at work (or maybe its the 100 kids flying around the room... probably a mixture of both).

The stockroom was actually called "The Paper Room" by the office staff. It was a room filled, as it's name would suggest, with paper. On the surface this may sound boring, and at first sight it certainly was. Rows of paper, white, innocuous, not yet darkened or inked by lines of text describing land purchases, corporate tax evaluations and the intellectual property rights to the internet. But if one looked harder they would see that it wasn't just stacks of paper, it was stacks of different kinds of paper. The smallest envelope all the way up to the sheets of paper they use to make those land-maps. It was paper heaven, but I unfortunately was soon to descend into solitare hell.

Not solitary hell, just solitare hell. The only thing that my computer was useful for was playing endless games of solitare and minesweeper, my eye on the clock waiting for lunch or 3:30 when I could return to my childhood and/or go to Rugby practice at my high school (which was blessedly close by).

Ah lunch. Lunch break I soon discovered was the best time of the day. From 9 - 12 I would fantasize about my lunch break. What I would eat, where I would go, what kinds of 19+ things I would be able to access in my suit and tie.

I would walk up Yonge street and peer into the windows of the sex shops, finally convincing myself that if I appeared confident enough i could stroll into one and purchase materials without anyone doubting my age.

About 2 months into my term at the Law Firm I did just that. It was a cold October day, I had already eaten my sandwich and still had 50 minutes of time to kill. On a whim I sauntered in to Flash Jacks, a porn/head shop just north of my office. Nervous at first until I realized that the guy behind the desk was too engrossed in his issue of sports illustrated to really give a damn about who was in his shop.

I walked through the aisles, gazing at the porn, briefly walking past the gay section and looking at the full hard cocks engaged in an activity I still hadn't admitted to anyone I was curious about. And that's when I saw it. A private sanctuary, much like a cubicle, but offering so much more pleasure.

The Private Viewing booth. I checked my pockets, yep, lots of quarters, I dashed inside.

It smelled like bleach, something I was very thankful for, I sat down on the bench in front of the TV and deposited a quarter. The images flickered on, I instinctively turned down the sound (I still watched porn at home with the volume off for fear of my mom hearing it), and then turned it back up again. It was an all female film. The girls were eating each other out furiously, the picture was of the same quality as a re-played news broadcast from the 1980's, but it didn't matter. I had found what I realize now was the sexualized carbon copy of the paper room (pardon the pun). In the paper room I was utterly alone, but alone without the freedom or stimulation or joy of being left alone to ones own devices. Here, in the private viewing booth, not only was I alone, but I could whip my cock out (to put it bluntly). It took at least 15 minutes before I convinced myself that whipping my cock out was in fact what I was supposed to do. Posted everywhere were signs that said "no masturbation", I took these quite literally at first and it was a bit disheartening. What else would one do in a small enclosed room with a bench and a TV set playing a movie with women fucking each other with strap ons? Eventually I convinced myself that it probably just said that for legal reasons. I started to rub myself through my grey slacks eventually getting up the nerve to unzip the fly and draw out my cock. It took me all of 30 seconds before I dropped a full load all over my hands.

The feeling was incredible. The smell of the bleach, the sound of the other televisions playing other kinds of porn created a surround-sound experience of pleasure. I knew other guys in there were doing the same thing as I was, and it made me even hotter. The darkness of the room made me feel so perverted, but so free. I had found my salvation, I would do this every lunch hour for the rest of the year. This would be what would get me through the drudgery of the office. I would leave my cubicle and come to this cubicle and silently protest the opression of working (for free no less) for the largest law firm in the city (working is actually the last thing I did, since no one ever managed to find anything for me to do).

I loved it in there, but it wouldn't be long before I realized that I could easily replicate these conditions during the rest of the day in the bathroom stalls of the offices marble and steel commodes. Around 10 am I would head for the bathroom and peer through the cracks in the stall door at guys pissing. Then when I knew I was alone I would jerk off furiously, listening to the sound of the women next door walking in on their high-heels and pissing into the toilets behind me. Pausing only if another person came in the restroom, and finishing up as quickly as I could. Always anxious that someone had caught on.

My routine became
9:00-10:00 Solitare/Minesweeper
10:00-10:15 Masturbate
10:15-12:00 Minesweeper/Solitare
12:00-1:00 Private Viewing Booth (or sometimes if I was feeling brave I would go into the theater and jack with a room full of men who were also jacking)
1:00 - 2:00 Minesweeper/Solitare
2:00 - 2:15 Masturbate
2:15 - 3:30 Solitare/Minsweeper
3:30 - 5:00 Rugby Practice
5:00 - 7:00 2 hours fucking my girlfriend and complaining about my Co-Op job.

All in all it wasn't a bad experience, I became acquainted with every sex-shop in the downtown area, but most importantly I developed a deep seated love of wanking in public. One that I still retain to this day.

And I should write about some of my other experiences.

Midnight to Eight Am shifts at a computer company.
6 hour breaks between classes at University.
30 minute breaks at a camp where I would go off into the woods and pull one off.

There are loads of stories, in the naked city ;)

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Saturday, March 25th, 2006
8:11 pm
I just got home from work and I'm bushed. The first thing I did was drop my pants and take my cock in my hands. There's nothing like laying back and masturbating after a long day at work. I can't think of anything but my girlfriend at the moment. I'll be with her in 8 days, and imagining what we are going to do with each other is the only thing keeping me on my feet while I plod through another endless day.

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Saturday, March 18th, 2006
7:00 pm - XL Xtra Vol 2
On my way home I found XL Xtra Volume 2 for 4 dollars. I can never find these video's except on the internet. I was so stoked. And now I'm so stroked.

I love these big girls, the way their whole bodies move and shake when they have sex, they look so hot.

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Friday, March 17th, 2006
5:21 pm
I was browsing on frenchpee.com and I wanted to recount a particularly hot encounter I had a year ago (before I met my girlfriend).

Me and my friends were at a shitty bar downtown. One of those alternative rock places where the beer is cheap and the music is really obnoxious. Not the thing I normally go for (I like warehouse parties or loft parties). But as I said the beer was cheap and the girls there were not bad looking.

I went up to the bar for what must have been my 10th or 11th beer and I noticed this tiny little girl standing next to me (tiny for me is REALLY tiny because I'm only 5-10). She was wearing a gabardine coat with a little skirt and striped thigh high stockings. She had those great legs only really small girls have, athletic and slim, smooth (the thigh highs really accentuated them). I could tell even through the coat that she had really small breasts (more than a handful is a waste - as they say) and this may sound ridiculous but she had a beautiful, smooth tiny little neck. Needless to say I couldn't keep my eyes off her (she was the best dressed girl in the club AND she was really hot). Just as it wasn't my kind of place, she wasn't my kind of girl either. I usually go for big, tall women with big asses and round stomaches but she just sent my libido (and my cock) soaring.

I was hammered so I didn't really give her much thought. Every girl that looks like that must have an army of guys who try and get into their pants when they go out, and to be honest, I was too drunk to even make decent conversation. I thought out of the corner of my eye that she was looking at me though. But I ignored it.

It was only midnight at this point (we had gone out early) and so I sat down with my rum and coke by the window with my friends. Every few minutes I would scan the room to see what was going on, and to my surprise most of the time I caught her eye. She didn't look like the kind of woman that would give you a wink or a smile, even if she did like you, but she was definetly looking a me.

Feeling bold I went back up to the bar near where she was standing to get another drink. I ordered and as I got my drink I turned to her and said "I Love your Jacket" (this wasn't a line I really did like her jacket), but before she could reply and before I could do anything stupid, I turned and walked back to my table. A few more minutes of eye contact and she came over.

"What kind of material is it?"
"My Jacket?"
"You guessed it"
"Whats your name?"

We started the usual "whats your name.. who do you know" small talk. She didn't know any of the people I knew, I didn't know any of the people she knew, we came from different scenes. But she was so well dressed (the people there were mostly dressed in Metallica t-shirts and PVC) and she seemed so classy I thought, oh well who cares she's sexy and she's interested and I'm BEYOND drunk. So I asked her if she wanted to come to an afterhours with us.

She said she wouldn't mind, she had come out alone and was going to go home anyways. So I introduced her to my friends and we all hopped in some cabs to an afterhours.

We got there and had a few more drinks, I had sobered up (ate some shwarma on the way) and felt a bit better. She started getting drunker, I started getting drunker, we started kissing on one of the couches in a dark room. All of a sudden her friend walked in. He was the spitting image of some celebrity I can't remember now. She ran up to him and gave him a kiss. I thought ... SHIT there goes a good opportunity, but hell opportunities come along every weekend, the only thing different about this one was that I had intended to take it.

She brought her friend over and introduced me, he didn't seem too put off with me and said he was going for a drink. After he left she leaned over and started kissing my neck again. So I figured he really was just a friend after all.

Well whether he was a friend or not, they certainly were friendly. He came back with his drink and sat down right in between us. I couldn't figure it out. She started chatting with him as though nothing strange had happened. Asking about his day, his job etc. After a few minutes I was ready to get up, when all of a sudden she reached her hand across his lap to mine and started rubbing my crotch. He didn't flinch, it was like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. I let her rub me for a while, I got hard even in his presence. She could feel me through my jeans, she unzipped my fly and took me out and gripped me in her hand and started masturbating me. He leaned over and started kissing her neck as she did it.

I had no idea what was going on. I have no aversion to other guys, provided they are well dressed and smell nice, but I had never had an experience like this one before.

After a few minutes she grabbed my hand and pulled it across to her breasts, I started rubbing them, letting her hand guide mine to where she wanted it to be. She moved it down between her skirt and let me feel the moisture coming out from between her panties. Then she took it and moved it over to his lap, unzipped his fly and took out his cock.

Before I knew what was happening both her and I had his cock in our hands and we were rubbing it and she was licking it, making it wet.

This must have gone on for at least an hour before anyone stumbled into the room we were in. It wasn't the nicest bar, but I was pretty sure they wouldn't have approved of what we were doing so I invited them both back to mine to see what would happen. He got a bit uncomfortable and said that he thought I was a nice guy but that he wasn't really into dudes and that he had to go home to go to work the next day anyways.

(i need to go masturbate.. i'll finish this story later)

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4:39 pm
I'm having a rough few days. Feeling really miserable and gloomy. But I'm an eternal and sunny optimist and I'm sure I'll get over it. The only thing that's keeping me going is masurbating. And even that is getting irritating. If I could I would just stay home all day and touch myself, but as it is I have to space it out or else I'm already spent and raw by 11am!

Have gotten quite a few good videos of myself though and I'm just editing them together. Maybe I'll post them.

I leave to see my girlfriend in 17 days!

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Friday, February 24th, 2006
7:06 pm
The Dirty Questionnaire
Made By: Dirty Valentine
First Off: How old are you?26
Your Sexuality: Straight? Bi? Gay/Les? Kinky?straight enough, but sometimes not
At what age did you loose your virginity?14 (it's lose not loose)
Where you impressed or did they fall flat?I was 14, I was just impressed that I was seeing a vagina
Do you enjoy GIVING oral sex?ALL THE TIME
Do you enjoy RECEIVING oral sex?from time to time
Anal sex: Yay or Nah?If it's done properly
Part of a woman/man you enjoy looking at the most?Woman - Thighs/Eyes/Cheeks Man - Shoulders/Cock
Part of a woman/man you enjoy touching at the most?In between their breasts or on the neck
Part of a woman/man you enjoy tasting in the most?pussy - juice
Part of a woman/man you enjoy being in the most?vagina
Do you enjoy sex toys?YES!
If YES, How many do you own?3
Do you enjoy sexual role play?Not really
If YES, What is your favorite role playing scene?Don't really have one
What is the kinkiest thing you have fanasized about?A man in my ass while my girlfriend lets me go down on her
What is the kinkiest thing YOUR PARTNER wanted you to do?Former Partner - Play Rape
What is the kinkiest thing you have ever done? (if not the same)Anal sex with my partner fucking me with a strap on.
What is the LAST name of the FIRST person you kissed?Michaud
What is the FIRST name of THIRD person you slept with?Ashleigh
How do you feel about casual sex?It's ok for some
Have you ever had a one night stand?Yes
Ever persued someone w/ the SOLE purpose of getting them in bed then never contacted them again?Yes
Ever had someone pursue YOU then never contacted you again? (hurts, don't in?)Yes
Ever faked an orgams?Yes
Has a partner ever faked an orgasm?Dunno!
Are you multi-orgasmic (if so, what's you #? JK!)No
OK, this one if for you. Tell me something reeeeaally nasty about you!I give myself enemas all the time


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Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
10:08 am
I love my strap-on. I bought it years ago at the request of someone else (we never ended up using it) and it's been a mainstay in my personal sexual repertoire ever since. I like strapping it on to the edge of the bed and then bending over and easing it into me, or else strapping it on to a chair and sitting on it, riding it while I touch myself. It's really big and when I first got it I could barely get it in me without screaming, but now (if I get warmed up a few times) I can slip it in with only that little dull pain that's more pleasurable than painful.

The only thing I don't like about it is the mess. I don't mind a bit of mess but I always prefer it when it's a "clean run". So the other day I bought a hot water bottle with an attachment I can use to clean myself out before I get started. I wish I had found out about this sooner. Not only is it extremely pleasurable to do (in the shower with hot water) but it makes EVERYTHING feel about 10x better. I can feel every inch of the dildo inside me and it hits all the spots it's supposed to. I want to introduce the idea to my girlfriend (we have anal sex about once a week) but as it's a bit weird and medical and has a stigma about it I don't really know how I would go about bringing it up. Any suggestions?

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9:57 am
I've been really horny for my girlfriend the last few days. Because she lives so far away we have a hard time catching each other on the phone and on the internet but yesterday we were both online at the same time. After a bit of nervousness on both our parts we ended up "changing" for each other, which ended in us masturbating for each other. I don't know why but doing that with her always makes both of us feel closer, "webcam sex" sounds so cliche but when it's the only thing you've got, it can be really satisfying.

Seeing her with her hands in her underwear, rubbing her nipples, pushing her fingers up inside of herself gets me as hard on the internet as it does in real life. The only downside is that now I can't get it out of my head. Which means spending a lot of time with my pants down and my cock in my hands.

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Monday, February 13th, 2006
11:29 am - rimming
If there's one thing I love it's having my girlfriend bend over and stick her butt in my face. I love the feeling of putting my tongue up inside her while she masturbates.

I'll start off slowly, she lies on her back and I lick her pussy, every few licks pulling her legs up and dropping my tongue down to her bum and then going back to eating her out. After a few minutes I grab her hand and pull it down to her and she masturbates as I focus on her ass, just licking around it at first and then cupping my lips around it and sucking it while she moans and rubs herself harder. Then I start darting my tongue in and out really quickly, she starts talking about coming after a few seconds and then I my tounge dives in, wiggles around and she orgasms, her juice spilling all over my face, my cock in my hands explodes and I come all over the bed spread. Then I climb up the bed, kiss her softly and stroke her hair while she convulses for a few minutes and we can start all over again.

If anyone out there hasn't tried it on their partner, they're seriously missing out.

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Sunday, February 12th, 2006
11:24 am
I have a healthy normal sex-life. That is my girlfriend and I are both satisfied, we experiment, we do all sorts of pervy things together and I've never been happier.

That being said I also think i have a healthy self-sex life that I don't consider to be all that connected with the sex I have with my girlfriend.

For example I like to think about or do things when I'm by myself that I wouldn't think of doing with her.

A couple minutes ago I put on a pair of small white briefs and went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. I had to pee, so I left them on and felt the warm liquid run through them and all over my crotch and listened to it tinkle into the toilet, I rubbed the wetness of them into myself for a few minutes and then slipped them off, letting the dampness touch my legs and I came in here to masturbate, my cock still wet from my pee.

I love doing this and I've done it since I was in my early teens. Would I tell her about it? No. Do I want to do it with her? No. But I love thinking about it, and I love doing it to get ready to masturbate. I love having my own private desires and things that only I share with myself while at the same time being completely satisfied with the sex I share with her.

current mood: relaxed

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Saturday, February 11th, 2006
7:23 pm - What this is
Just a note about what this journal actually is.

I have a livejournal, or had one anyways, for years. It was good fun and you could say sarcastic stuff to your friends and have a laugh and be a dumbass and fool around and it was all good. However, it never lent me any kind of personal satisfaction, knowing that I was constantly limiting myself to what I wanted my friends to know about me. That's not saying I lie to my friends, I just don't want to subject them to every excruciating detail about my personal life that they most likely (except for the most voyeuristic of them) don't want to know.

So I created this journal anonymously as a place where I can say what I'm thinking and not worry about freaking out my friends and/or getting myself in trouble.

Here (if I keep at it) you'll find sometimes perverted and primarily sexual and emotional thoughts about my life and what I'm up to.

Primarily sexual because I have no problem opening up to my friends about anything other than the most lighthearted details of sex. And also because I'm planning on using this as an outlet for my teeming sexual energy during the period my girlfriend and I are separated by a considerable distance for a considerable length of time (5000 miles - hence the name "trans" and two continents - hence the "cont").

I would never think of cheating on her or anything, I love her a great deal but I just wanted a place I could put the random thoughts that pop into my head during the course of a day or week or month that might be innapropriate if anyone else ever heard them.

As for me, I'm a guy in his twenties who lives in a large major city and has all his life. I've had lots of friends but in the last few years I've sort of pared them down to the ones who either a) have a great emotional history with me (ex-girlfriends, teenage friends etc.) or ones that I have little emotional history with (buddies, friends from work etc.).

I live at home for various reasons (none of which are particularly fun) and am a bit neurotic (probably because i'm still forced to live at home). I live in my own apartment with a seperate entrance and have my own space which enables me to stay sane.

I've got big changes coming in the future, and I might write about them at some point. I'm at a job which is creatively rewarding but not particularly intellectually stimulating, and I'm heading back to school in the next few years to finish a degree in something that I hope I will still find creatively and intellectually stimulaty at the same time.

Thats it for me. Nobody is reading this anyways. But if anyone ever does. Here's my "mandate" of sorts.

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